Unraveled
by xlightmycandlex
Summary: Frankie suspects something is wrong with Axl. The truth is more horrible and devastating than any one ever could have imagined. How will the Heck family deal with the news?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in The Middle.**

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**Unraveled**

As a mother, one of the traits that you somehow develop overtime is the supernatural yet odd ability to know your children more so than they perhaps know themselves. It comes in many forms…such as the unacknowledged talent to identify your small child's screams amongst the others on the playground after they've fallen off of the swing set for the thirteenth time (Sue).

It's the unnerving nagging reminder to check your child's backpack for half eaten sandwiches from the past week before they start to smell (Brick)

It's also the somewhat satisfying spot on awareness to let you know when they're lying (like if your child is Axl and trying to pass off a permission slip as a detention slip).

I wouldn't say parenthood has been easy for me. I mean, I know that other parents have had it worse (you know, those parents who's kids are on drugs, or in jail), but there are certain times, I found myself wondering why on earth Mike and I thought this was a good idea to be parents in the first place. Whether it was worrying about Brick being weird, Sue's lack of talent (in anything), or Axl graduation high school, it often seems like we chose the wrong life for ourselves. We could be living on an island somewhere, just the two of us, where the biggest concern is what to eat for dinner that night. But of course, we didn't choose that road….

Out of all my children, Axl has definitely been the most trying. Sure, most would blame it on the fact that he's a seventeen year old teenage boy, and I'm his thirty something (plus) mother, unwilling to let go, but history also does not lie. Especially if it's that of a repetitive history.

For example, _he_ was the kid who I was constantly stressed about getting through each and every grade. Sure Sue was barely noticed by her teachers, and Brick's teachers stressed over his "special tendencies", but out of the three, Axl was the one who really made me want to pull my hair out. Report card time around the Heck house felt like the calm before the storm. I literally dreaded going to any type of parent teacher conference because I _knew _I would hear the same thing (how smart Axl is but he "just doesn't apply himself"). I've lost count of how many times he and I have had drag out fights because he once again, "forgot" to do his homework, or just "didn't' know how to study" for his history test. These of course would normally end with him yelling some snarky comment in my direction as I yelled one back to his slammed closed door.

Even he was little we faced difficulties…He was also the kid who I constantly had to leave work for because he was sick. And yes, I do mean actually sick. If anyone knows us, they would probably expect the sick one in the family to be Sue-let's face it-she doesn't exactly have the best luck between her braces, klutziness, and poor judge in fashion sense, but it was Axl who I was constantly running to the doctors. He had more colds and infections than I thought possible. By four, he was on every antibiotic known to man which lead to a recommendation of having his tonsils out by five. At seven he was on nightly breathing treatments due to his chronic respiratory infections. In short, let's just say we learned to appreciate health insurance more than we ever thought possible.

That's where Mike stepped in. He was tired of seeing Axl, his first born son, sick and tired, and me, his wife, sick and tired of Axl being sick and tired. I was barely spending time with Sue, who had begun throwing tantrums daily, and was pregnant with Brick, who gave me incredible morning sickness. Mike, whose childhood highlights were in athletics, began taking Axl out into the back yard and tossing a football around with him. At first, due to his breathing and illnesses, it made me nervous. Actually it made me more than nervous….Mike and I had huge blow outs over it-me saying Axl was just too fragile and Mike arguing that it was "just what he needed". I had serious doubts, and was fully intent on putting my foot down, but then something changed…..Axl's health started to improve. He was getting sick less and less frequently, and didn't need to have his breathing treatments every night. His appearance changed and he began to look healthy and vibrant, instead of sickly and pale. And much to Mike's delight, Axl seemed to be a natural at football. He was on a community team by nine and the star player by junior high. Even though he was small, he was fast. He could easy dodge the bigger guys and roll into the ends zone (don't give me too much credit; I don't know much terminology besides that).

Although I was glad his health had improved, and he'd found something in which he had natural talent, it put a distance between us. By fourteen he barely acknowledged my presence, other than to grunt or mumble how I was wrecking his life, and how embarrassing I was if I tried to hug him. I suppose in some ways the distance was good….It helped me build a relationship with Sue, who hung off of my every word, and try to help Brick with his social skills(a job in itself)….but I missed Axl. I missed my boy. When I tried to talk to Mike about it, he'd just shrug me off, tell me I was thinking about it too much, but I longed for the days that Axl was my shadow. Of course, I didn't want him to still be sick, but I missed knowing him like I used to know him. I often felt like we are strangers living in the same house.

It may not surprise you that Axl has never been the kid to wake up without at least somewhat of a struggle. Even when he was a three year old, getting him to get out of bed to make it to preschool on time called for major coaxing on my part. Of course this steadily got worse as he grew, making it somewhat near impossible once he hit around fifteen. Almost every morning, ill wake up, drag myself out of bed, acknowledging the small groan from Mike, and begin my day by knocking on my children's bedrooms doors.

"Axl," I snapped, bursting into his room, my frustration boiling over even more when I saw he hadn't moved. "You need to get up!" I walked over to his bed, and yanked the covers off of him.

Now, normally at this point, he'd grumble that I'm ruining his life, or some other equally annoying and cynical comment, but he didn't. That's when I saw the huge bruise on his back. It looked almost like a sunburst, starting in the middle of his spine and spreading outwards.

"Axl…" I said, sitting down on the bed, my maternal instincts kicking into over drive, "What happened to your back?"

"Huh?" He mumbled, barely conscious.

"What happened to your back?" I asked again.

"I don't know." He mumbled searching for his covers, and pulling them back up over his head.

I stood up, deciding for the first time in probably forever to just let him be. I headed out into the kitchen where the rest of my family was getting ready for the day.

"Mike," I said quietly, going over to my husband who was pouring what smelled like burnt coffee, "Something's wrong with Axl."

"Oh, Frankie." Mike sighed, before digging in the fridge for his lunch, which consisted of left over takeout from last night, "I'm sure he's fine. He probably has a test today he didn't study for."

"He has this huge bruise on his back." I said biting my lip.

"He's been practicing hard for his big game Saturday," Mike said, putting on his coat, "It's probably just from rough housing. You know we guys do that to blow off steam. It's normal."

"He didn't even say anything insulting to me…." I argued, following him as he began to head out the door.

"Frankie…" Mike said climbing into his car, "You complain when he's rude, now you're complaining when he isn't? Come on, you can't have it both ways." He gave me a slight smile, with a quick "don't' worry about it", before pulling down the driveway.

I headed back into the house, handing off back packs to both Sue and Brick. I stood in the empty kitchen for a minute before first calling Dr. Goodwin to let him know I couldn't make it into work today. Then I called Axl's high school to let him know that he wouldn't be in school, insisting this was indeed his _real_ mother. I then sank down the kitchen table, with my lap top to file the dental papers I've been meaning to catch up for over the last three weeks. I figure I might as well make use of my time before Axl woke up.

He turned up around noon, stumbling into the kitchen, dressed of course in only his boxers and socks.

"What's going on?" He asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes. "Where is everyone?"

"Sue and Brick are at school." I said, pushing a chair out, motioning for him to sit, "Your dad's at work."

"Okay." Axl sank into the chair, clearly confused, "Why am I not in school then? Did you suddenly realize I was right and I'm just too cool to be there?"

"No," I said, unable to stop myself from rolling my eyes, "I just figured maybe we could spend the day together. You seemed really tired this morning." Actually now that I think about it, Axl did seem more tired than usual. Sure, one of his more admirable qualities, but I've come home to find him sound asleep in front of the TV when sports is on-something almost unheard of. A few weeks ago, Mike had to practically drag him out of bed to watch some sort of type of "big game".

Axl shrugged, and reached for the cereal I had set out for him. I nearly chocked when he used the bowl. His normal MO was to lean his head back and just pour the cereal into his mouth, before getting up to walk away, thus crunching the fallen ones into the tile floor.

"Axl," I said, clearing my throat, "What happened to your back?"

"Yeah, I don't know…" Axl shrugged, "It just like appeared."

"Do you remember hitting it off of anything?" I pushed, "Like maybe like getting tackled during practice?"

"No." Axl shrugged, "Really honestly, I don't get tackled that often at practice. It's like Coach's rules. It's something like spar the 'Ax man' or something. The guys are cool with it, but I'm not stupid. I know it's my size."

Axl's comment about his size kind of took me off guard. It was no secret he was the smallest guy on the team-it was kind of hard not to notice-but he never openly flat out said anything about it. I never thought it bothered him. It worried me-because I was of course worried he would get tackled by some huge brut and get seriously injured. I know deep down it bothered Mike, who was six foot by fourteen, to have a son who barely reached five eight. Axl however never showed any discomfort. I was about to launch into a size doesn't matter lecture when I recalled what we were really talking about.

"Well does it hurt?" I asked, refocusing.

"Mom," Axl sighed, almost as if he remembered he were seventeen again, "It's just a bruise. It feels like a bruise. That's what bruises feel like. That's all. God, you make a big deal out of everything." He got up and stormed out of the kitchen. I counted to three before I heard the door slam.

I got up, putting Axl's bowl in the sink. Right then and there I made a mental note to watch Axl closely (but not that he noticed) for the next couple weeks.

That mother's intuition I was talking about before…it also brings that distressing feeling that tugs at you when you realize something is seriously wrong with one of your kids. The one that makes you feel the other shoe is about to drop and things might not be the same after it does.


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't believe you let him stay home, Frankie!" Mike exclaimed after he'd gotten home from work. "The kid tries to get out of school enough, and you just gave him a pass."

"He slept all day, Mike." I insisted.

"He always sleeps all day. He's a teenage boy. They have three things on their minds. Sleep, football, and sex."

"Don't say sex." I said, shuddering, "The thought that he would even consider doing that with Morgan-"

"Despite your feelings, she's hot." Mike shrugged, "Honestly, that would be a good checkmark in his book for his first time."

"I don't want to hear that." I said, throwing up my hands.

Right there was another "difficulty" that Axl has thrown my way. Morgan….Axl's on and more so off again girlfriend. When I first met her, I loved her. She was cheerful, motivated, and hard working. I thought she'd be great for Axl who was gloomy, unmotivated, and quite frankly lazy….but after watching her break his heart over and over again, I grew to dislike her. No…despise her. Plus, I hated watching her boss him around and him blindly allow it without any resistance. They of course had just gotten back together last weekend, much to my dismay and Axl's delight.

"Hey, Mom." Axl suddenly poked his head around the corner, "Morgan's coming over to show me what I missed today."

I swear it was like he knew what I was thinking and then did it just to spite me.

"I don't know if that's a good idea." I said, sighing, looking for backup from Mike. The only response was a small shrug. Before I could say another word however, the doorbell rang. And Axl took off to answer the door.

"What did I say about having your hair in your eyes?" I heard Morgan greet my son with her typically offending obnoxious voice. I glanced at Mike who shook his head before moving into the family room to watch TV.

"Mrs. Heck!" Morgan exclaimed, when she saw me, "It's so nice to see you!"

"Yeah, Morgan…." I said, putting on my fakest smile, "You too…"

"I just wanted to bring Axl his homework." Morgan said, "You know, we don't want him to fall behind."

"No." I said, glancing at Axl who was staring at the ground, "_We_ don't."

"Let's go to my room." Axl mumbled.

"See you later Mrs. Heck." Morgan gave me a quick wave before grabbing Axl by the arm and yanking him towards his bedroom.

I then did what I normally do when Morgan comes over. I ran into the bathroom, shut the door and pressed my ear to the wall which is conveniently shares a wall with Brick and Axl's room. No, I'm not proud of this violation of my kid's, but I really just don't trust Morgan.

"Your mother was awfully rude." Morgan's voice clearly said, "You shouldn't let her talk to me that way."

"That's my mom for you." Axl said. I could almost hear his shrug.

"If you really cared about me, you would tell her about it." Morgan replied.

"I'll talk to her." Axl said, sounding somewhat exasperated.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't wait for that conversation. I knew without a doubt it would end in a heated argument.

"So what did I miss?" Axl asked, clearly wanting to change the subject. After hearing Morgan launch into an in-depth discussion about the day, I turned away, sighing. I headed out of the bathroom and ran right into Mike.

"You should be ashamed of yourself." Mike said, shaking his head and chuckling to himself.

"I wasn't doing anything." I said, knowing full well Mike knew me well enough to know that I had indeed been eavesdropping.

"Oh Frankie."

"And for the record…." I said stopping briefly and motioning towards Axl's bedroom, "I really don't like her."

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**Axl's POV**

I woke up the next morning, feeling like I had the day before. Well, really like I've been feeling the last few weeks. Which to be honest was just exhausted. I legit found myself going to bed early and earlier, which seeing as recently I've beat Brick, whose bedtime was around nine o'clock, was pretty lame.

Football practice has just plan sucked. Coach has been screaming at me to "pick my head up" (whatever that means) and the guys have been hassling me to "get the fuck over" whatever my problem is. Truth was, I would if I could, but I didn't know what my problem was. All I knew was I was running slower than I ever have, and had to stop in between plays just to catch my breath more than I ever remember. It literally took me twenty minutes to shower up after practice because I had to lean against the wall just to get the energy to wash my hair.

Time with Morgan was exhausting. I found myself blinking tons just to stay away, which of course lead her into a discussion which included something about me needing eye drops "asap" and "what kind of mother do I have" for not buying them already. She also constantly thought she did something because let's just say I haven't been quite as "physical" as I normally am.

Then of course there was school, which I never cared about anyway. I didn't see much of a change there. The classes were just as boring as ever, so I just used them as my "relax time".

"Hey." Dad poked his head into my and Brick's room, interrupting my thoughts, "I just wanted to make sure you're up." I knew it was directed at me, and not Brick who was already up reading.

"I'm up." I said with a groan, covering my head with my pillow.

"You don't go to school, you don't play tonight." Dad said simply, closing the door.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" I mumbled, rolling out of bed, almost into Brick who was already heading out of the room, book in hand.

"You okay, Axl?" He asked, pausing and glancing at me.

"I'm fine." I said, probably a little shorter than I intended.

I instantly felt bad….Truth was, I loved Brick. We hardly ever fought, and if we did, it was almost always admittedly my fault. Like the time I gave away the end of a book Brick had been reading for like ten years or something. I don't know why I did that to this day. I guess I was feeling especially like a prick that day or something. After he explained to me how important books are to him, I felt worse than I ever remember feeling. Actually, I still feel bad to this day. Even after writing my own ending for him. Every once in a while I'll bring it up and he'll give me a subtle wave and change the subject. We were complete opposites in everything. He was smarter than I ever could hope to be. He knew more than I'll ever know. Even when I feel like I'm somewhat catching onto stuff that's going on in school, Brick will come home and blow our parents away with some new found intellectual intelligent knowledge. I'd then just end up tossing my book aside because I knew I could never absorb information like he can.

"Sorry." I mumbled, yanking a shirt over my head. Brick gave me a slight smile to show that it was no biggie and left the room leaving me alone. I sat on the edge of my bed and yanked on my jeans, wishing more than anything I could just crawl back under the covers and sleep some more.

"Axl!" Mom suddenly appeared next to me, making me jump, "You fell back asleep. Come on, you're going to be late for school. Now I have to drive you."

"Maybe I should call Dr. Smithy." Mom said, once we had begun the drive to school. Dr. Smithy was my, Sue, and Brick's pediatrician. "Just get a checkup."

"I don't need to go to the doctors." I said, banging my head against the window, knowing I was being completely unreasonable, "I'm fine."

"Axl, with your history…" Mom began, putting on her nagging voice.

"My history means nothing." I cut her off, "God, every time I so much as sneeze, you have to bring up _my history_." I said it mockingly, turning away from her and sighing loudly.

I was so tired of hearing about how sickly I used to be. She just wanted me to be that loser little boy who always needed his mommy. What I remember most about being a kid was being sick all the time being dragged from one doctor to another for this or that. It was lame.

"Well, you're going." Mom said, as she pulled up to the school, "Until you're eighteen, I'm in control. I'll call and get an appointment. If you don't go then no football."

"Whatever." I mumbled, getting out of the car and slamming the door.

God I hated her ultimatums. She always gets what she wants that way. She's like a master mind in making me do things I just didn't' want to do. She's always like do your homework, or else…pass to the next grade, or else…. I'd personally like to see how she felt if I gave her an ultimatum like she gives me. I thought about this, laughing to myself as I slid into my first period seat just as the bell rang.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: I'm not completely happy with the way I ended this chapter so I might be making some changes...Also chapter 4 is written, it just needs some tweaking. Thank you for all of your support!**

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I breathed a sigh of relief as I headed out of work that day. I just couldn't keep my mind on my job. Okay, I mean, normally I can't keep my mind on my job, but this time I just couldn't stop worrying. I know some might say I'm being crazy-after all, teenagers do act odd-but something inside just told me that this wasn't something to let go.

I stopped at the local burger place on the way home because Axl was always whining how he needs "protein" before a game. I found Sue and Brick sitting together on the couch, but no Axl.

"Where's your brother?" I asked, motioning for them to come eat.

"In his room." Sue replied, grabbing some fries.

"I think he's sleeping." Brick added.

"Again?!" I sighed and headed into Axl and Brick's room. Sure enough, Axl was spread out on his bed, sound asleep. I sat down next to him on the bed, and gently rubbed his back.

"Axl…" I whispered.

"I fell asleep!" He said, jumping up so suddenly, he scared me. "What time is it?!"

"It's five." I said, reaching out, and brushing his hair out of his face. "Honey, I think you have a fever."

"I'm fine." Axl said swatting my hand away, "I got to get ready for the game."

"Maybe you shouldn't play tonight." I said, as Axl yanked on a hoodie and slid into a pair of jeans. "Honey, you seem worn out."

"I have to play." Axl said, yanking on his shoes, tripping over another pair of his pants that were on the floor.

"Let me at least take your temperature." I said, reaching out to sturdy him.

"I don't have time." Axl said, practically hopping away from me, "I have to go."

"At least grab a burger." I said, following him out of the room, "You need to eat."

"Okay." He replied, grabbing a burger off of the table and shoving it into his mouth.

"If you feel sick at all you need to tell Coach Brenson." I said, handing him a napkin, "I really think you're coming down with something."

"Alright, alright." Axl said, waving me off. He grabbed his football bag by the couch and practically ran out the door.

Sighing, I turned to Sue and Brick who were finishing their dinners.

"Does Axl seem okay to you guys?" I asked, sitting down to eat my own hamburger.

"What do you mean?" Brick asked, actually looking up from the book he was reading.

"He just doesn't seem himself." I said, glancing at Sue, who was looking at me rather nervously.

"Sue…If there's something I should know, you need to tell me." I sighed.

Sue and Axl don't always get along-and by that I mean they've had almost physical fights-but when it comes to covering for one another they were experts. In fact, the way they defend each other when it really comes down to it, you'd think they were best friends. Truthfully, I think they were, but they were just too embarrassed to admit it. Especially Axl. He openly offended her any chance he got (calling her a dork/loser and pretended to commit suicide anytime she announced she was trying out for something new), but he also did some really sweet things for her. Like when he gave his jersey to wear after not making ball girl. Just recently Nancy Donahue told me Sean told her that Axl confronted this boy at school who was making fun of her. This was surprising to me because normally he'll deny that he even has a sister.

"I know nothing." Sue said quickly, glancing at Brick, who's eyes were wide (this confirmed he was in on whatever secret they were keeping too.

I shook my head, knowing the bond of silence was unbreakable. Trust me, I've tried several times on several different occasions. I mean bribery, manipulation (awful I know), threats….but nothing works.

"Just be ready to go to his game in an hour." I said, releasing them from my gaze. True to form, they both jumped up to and left the kitchen quickly. Of course, they went into Sue's room, which doesn't share a paper thin wall with the bathroom, closing the door behind them.

I cleaned up the kitchen and sank on the couch to watch TV. Mike came home, ate the burgers I'd saved for him, and soon after we packed into the car and headed to Axl's game.

* * *

We managed make it into our seats right as the boys were running through the banner. Right away I found myself frowning. Axl normally is one of the first ones to crash through the sign, but instead he was one of the last guys to enter the field. I glanced at Mike, who in typical Mike fashion, was cheering not noticing anything.,

Even as kickoff started, Axl didn't seem to have his normal peppiness to him. In fact, he almost looked like he wasn't paying attention at all.

"Come on, Axl!" Mike screamed next to me, "Get your head in the game!" Down on the field Coach Brenson looked like he was yelling something similar as he was pacing up and down the field.

"Damnit!" Mike said, after several moments had passed, "Coach is definitely going to pull him from starting line up if he doesn't get with it!"

I was about to say that I really didn't think Axl felt well, when he suddenly caught the ball and began barreling towards the end zone. Everyone in the stands on our side stood up and started cheering. Axl managed to dodge the players of the other team before he rolled into a touchdown.

"Wooo! That's my boy!" Mike screamed next to me, high fiving Sue, who looked somewhat alarmed by all the shouting.

When everyone had sat back down again, that's when I noticed that Axl hadn't gotten up off of the ground.

"Mike…"I began, "Why isn't he getting up?" I didn't even wait for his reply before I started making my way down the bleachers, nearly tripping over people, spilling their snacks everywhere. I didn't even bother stopping to apologize.

I crossed the field in a matter of seconds, shoving myself in between the circle of teenage boys all gathered around my son.

"Oh, my god, honey!" I said, dropping down next to him, "Are you okay?"

Now, the last time this happened, Axl was mortified. It was some big game where some huge jerk tackled him and I had panicked and run out on the field. I think it took three weeks before Axl spoke to me again. This time however, he almost looked relieved to see me. In fact he practically reached for me to help him sit up. As he did, blood poured out of his nose in an alarming amount. Without thinking, I took off my coat, and held it against his nose. Coach Brenson seemed to recognize something was seriously wrong (or it could have been my ordering to get help) because he signaled for the paramedics that are present for each and every game. The next thing I knew I was riding in the back of an ambulance, holding Axl's hand as his nose continued to bleed.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time we got to the hospital, Axl's nose had finally stopped bleeding. I guess because we came by ambulance we were more of a priority because we were put into a room right away.

"Does he have any allergies?" The nurse asked, "We want to start fluids right away in case he's dehydrated."

"Just to bees." I said, glancing at Axl, who was covering his eyes, looking whiter than the ugly hospital walls behind him.

"Okay, great." The nurse left briefly then came back with a IV line. "This will just pinch for a second." She said and pulled out a needle. Axl shut his eyes and looked away. He's never been good with needles. I automatically went over and held his hand until the nurse slid the needle into his left arm. By the time she had finished and Axl had begun to look more relaxed, Mike and the kids arrived.

"So can you tell me what's been going on?" The nurse asked Axl. I think her name was Alex or something. I was too worried to exchange names, or pay attention as or if she introduced hers.

"I don't know." Axl shrugged, "The last thing I remember is running for a touch down then everything spun around me and went black."

"I see…" Alex wrote that down onto her little clipboard. "Were you feeling sick before you fainted?"

"I really don't think I fainted." Axl scoffed, his cheeks flushing slightly, "But yeah, I guess so."

"Can you tell me about that?" Alex the nurse was good. I decided I liked her. She seemed to be the type to push until she got the information she needed.

"I guess I've just been more tired than usual…." Axl shrugged, looking down at his hands.

"I've caught him sound asleep during the day." I interrupted, ignoring the glare that I was getting from Axl and the heavy sigh from Mike. "More so than usual. Like in the middle of a sports event. That's almost unheard of in our house."

"Anything else?" Alex asked, giving me a small smile of acknowledgement.

"Not really." Axl cut in quickly.

"Well, I'm going to draw some blood." Alex said, pulling another needle and vile out of her cart, making Axl once again grow pale, "That will help us figure out what's going on. You're probably just dehydrated. Then the doctor will be in to review your results.

The wait for Axl's bloodwork seemed to take forever. Mike was impatient saying that he was sure Axl was fine, that he was just winded from running so fast. Sue and Brick went to explore the hospital, and Axl just watched TV. I was too nervous to do anything but pace around the room, checking the hallway every few minutes for this so called doctor.

Brick and Sue had just returned to the room asking for money when the doctor came into the room. He introduced himself (I actually paid attention to this, mainly because I had spied on the ER boards where they write the information of the doctors and nurses on call that night -did learn something from years of watching ER- and already knew his name) as Dr. Manchen.

"So Axl…" Dr. Manchen said, pulling up a chair, and sinking down into it, "I got your blood results back. Tell me, have you been having nose bleeds a lot lately?"

"I don't know." Axl mumbled, confirming for me that he has. Next to me Sue gasped in her breath, which also told me she had known about it.

"How about your mouth?" Dr. Manchen asked, writing on another stupid clipboard. "Have your gums bled after you've brushed your teeth?"

"I guess so." Axl shrugged.

"Any fevers or prolonged illnesses?"

"He's prone to sore throats." I said, unable to stop myself, "And to colds. He was sick a lot as a kid."

"Anything more recently?" Dr. Manchen said, turning to face me, "Any mononucleosis?"

"He had mono in the beginning of the summer." I answered quickly, "Does that mean anything? Is this all because of the mono?"

"Actually." Dr. Manchen said calmly, "Mr. and Mrs. Heck, can I see you in the hallway for a moment?"

I glanced briefly at Mike before following Dr. Manchen into the hallway.

"Here." He said, pulling a card from his coat pocket, and handing it to me, "I think you guys should make an appointment with Dr. Garvin. He's one of the best. I graduated undergrad with him."

The card said Dr. Brian Garvin, Oncology/Hematology.

"Oncology…" I asked, handing the card to Mike, "That's a cancer doctor. Why do we need oncology?"

"Mrs. Heck," Dr. Manchen sighed, "I could be wrong, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. "Axl's blood cell counts are extremely low….this along with the bruising and other symptoms, I feel this is the next best step for your family to take."

"Are you telling me my son has cancer?" I whispered, glancing at Mike, who was staring at the ceiling.

"I'm telling you I would get an appointment." Dr. Manchen replied, "As soon as possible. I wish you the best of luck." He reached out, shook Mike's hand and left us alone in the hallway.

"Can you believe him!?" I breathed, turning on Mike probably like a rabid dog. "Axl doesn't have cancer. There is no possible way. He's young and healthy. We were just watching him play football. If he had cancer he'd be _way_ sicker."

"Let's just get the kids home, Frankie." Mike said, almost dismissively. Without waiting a response, he turned and headed back into the hospital room, where Sue and Axl were fighting over the TV, and Brick was sitting in the corner reading a book.

"Time to go." Mike said, almost crossly, as he began to toss everyone their coats.

"What they say?" Axl asked, sliding out of bed, conveniently smacking Sue with his coat as he pulled it on.

"We'll talk about it at home." I said, glancing at Mike who was already halfway out the door along with Sue and Brick who were complaining that they wanted to stay and try some hospital food (Gross, I know).

Axl studied my face a minute, before shrugging and heading out of the room. I took a deep breath, willing myself not to cry before I followed him.


	5. Chapter 5

The car ride home was one of the quietest our family has ever had. We got home and we resumed our usual spots. Brick reading a book at the table, Sue and Axl parked themselves in front of the TV, and Mike digging through the fridge.

"How can you eat at a time like this?" I hissed, in his ear.

"At a time like what?" Mike pulled out some stuff to make a sandwich, "We don't even know what's wrong yet. It could be nothing."

"They don't send you to see an oncologist if it's nothing." I said, grabbing the mustard and holding it ransom.

"Axl's fine, Frankie." Mike said, beginning to eat his sandwich, forgoing the mustard, "We were just at his football game. Kids with cancer don't play football."

"Well, we need to tell him what's going on." I said, "He needs to know. He has to know something's wrong. He knows we spoke to that doctor without him."

"He doesn't seem worried." Mike said, motioning toward the couch where of course Axl and Sue had begun fighting over the remote.

I sighed, not buying Mike's line of thinking. I mean let's face it….Axl isn't exactly known for being upfront with his feelings. He never was open with Mike, even as a little kid; and he was practically a stranger to me these last few years. He's never been the kid to just tell us how he was feeling without a little coaxing, normally of course from my end. However, I saw the fear in his eyes as we'd left the hospital. And as much as I tried to hide it, I'm sure he saw fear in mine.

"He needs to know." I pushed, "There's no way around it. I don't want to talk to him about this anymore than you do, but what are we going to tell him when we take him to this ….this doctor? That' we're going for ice cream? He's too old for that lie now." I said that because as bad parenting as it was, that's what we used to tell Axl when he was little and getting rushed around from one doctor to another. And yes, he believed it each and every time.

"I suppose you're right." Mike said, getting up to throw out his napkin, "Let's talk to him."

"Axl…" I went into the TV room just as Sue was climbing on top of him to get the remote, which he of course had hid underneath him before laying on it. "Sue!" I screamed, going over to her and practically yanking her off of Axl, "Get off of him! What's wrong with you?!" Sue jumped back alarmed, looking as though I'd slapped her. She then burst into tears and ran down the hall into her room, slamming the door.

Axl's eyes were equally as wide. "Geez, Mom." He said, sitting up and beginning to flip through the channels, "We were just messing around."

"Honey," I said, sitting down, "We need to talk."

"About your sudden psychotic break?" Axl asked. I rolled my eyes at him, and then glanced at Mike.

"Axl…." Mike warned.

Axl sighed and leaned back against the couch.

"We need to talk…" I started again, "Axl….the doctor in the emergency room. He recommended we go see a specialist."

"What kind of specialist?"

"Just one that could figure out what's going on with you…" I answered vaguely. All of a sudden I realized how hard it was to say the word oncology to my seventeen year old son.

"Do you know what an oncologist is?" Mike asked, taking the lead.

"Not really." Axl shrugged, looking bored.

"It's umm…." Mike looked at me, shrugging.

"It's a doctor that someone who has cancer goes to." I said quickly, closing my eyes.

"A cancer doctor?" Axl said, his voice cracking. "Are you telling me I have cancer?"

"No…." I shrugged, "The doctor in the hospital didn't say…he just wants you to go get a checkup by this one doctor. He works in hematology too…I think that's a blood doctor…or something….." I bit my lip, wishing I could offer more information. "It's just a precaution, honey. It's probably nothing that a good round of antibiotics won't fix."

Axl fell silent for a few minutes before shrugging, and muttering a "Whatever." He then began flicking through the TV channels like nothing had happened.

I looked up at Mike who shrugged, with his 'I told you so Frankie' face on. I jumped up and went into the kitchen, irritated with Mike's smugness over something so serious.

"Oh, come on Frankie…" Mike said, following me, "What did you expect?"

"We still had to tell him." I snapped. "I just figured he'd want to talk more."

"Well, if you want someone to talk to Sue's crying in her room."

I rolled my eyes for probably the fiftieth time that night and headed into Sue's room.

She of course was laying on her bed wailing.

"Sue." I went over to her, sitting on her bed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I wouldn't have hurt him, Mom." Sue said, jumping up to face me, her tears streaked with tears, "I would never hurt him. We were just playing around. I'm such a bad sister. I didn't hurt him, did I?"

"No, no honey." I said, grabbing her hands, "You didn't hurt him."

"Are you sure?" Sue asked lowered her head down onto my shoulder, and continued to cry.

"I'm sure." I gave Sue a slight hug, before realizing I probably should tell her what's going on. Like I said, as much as the kids fight and argue, when it really came down to it, they loved each other.

"Sue…" I began, recognizing that this conversation was going to be harder than the one I had just had with Axl. "I feel like I owe you an explanation of why I flipped out on you a little bit."

"Okay," Sue wiped her eyes, looking eager, "You mean… you're going to tell me something? Something grown up?"

I nodded, hating to break it to her that her first piece of "grown up" news was so devastating and scary.

"I don't want you to get worried." I said, picking my words carefully, "Because we really aren't sure what's going on yet….but …well, honey, Axl might be really sick."

"What do you mean he might be really sick?" Sue asked, "You mean like when we were little."

"Umm…." I bit my lip, suddenly wondering if it was a bad idea to even tell Sue any of this before we knew all the facts. "Well, not quite like that…" I trailed. I looked at Sue who was watching my every move, before taking a deep breath, "The doctor at the hospital wants Axl to go see an oncologist."

"An oncologist…" Sue said slowly, she looked lost in thought for a few moments, then she gasped, "Mom!" She said, her voice growing to a husky whisper, "Isn't that the doctor Carly's grandma went to when she had cancer. Oh my god, Axl has cancer!….Carly's grandma died from that didn't she? Oh my God, Axl's dying?"

"Yes." I said quickly, my brain not being able to keep up with Sue's thoughts. "No…I mean, yes, Carly's grandmother did go see an oncologist before she died, but honey it's not like that with Axl."

Sue took one look at me before throwing herself back down on her bed and begun wailing again.

"I don't want him to be sick." She said crying into her pillow.

"None of us do, honey." I said, suddenly at a loss for words, "But we don't know what's going on yet. I mean, it's just a checkup. That's it."

Sue suddenly got up and raced out of her room. I followed her, just in time to see her run and practically smash Axl against the couch, hugging him tight.

"Eww!" Axl yelled, trying to get out from underneath her, but failing horribly, "Dork cooties! Mom, make Sue stop hugging me! Her uncoolness might rub off on me!"

"Okay, Sue." I said, lightly rubbing her shoulder, trying to signal for her to get off of her brother. She did then wrapped her arm into his, laying her head on his shoulder. Shockingly, Axl didn't shrug her off, or make any rude comments. He didn't' pretend to commit suicide, or act like Sue has some bizarre disease. The cooties he claimed she had were forgotten. He leaned her head against hers ,and I could feel tears well up in my eyes. If I wasn't so worried, I would want to capture this moment for ever.


	6. Chapter 6

**Note: It was super tough to write from Brick's POV, so don't judge me too harshly, lol**

* * *

Brick POV

It's funny. People think because I'm the youngest, I know the least. Or because I'm less social than my siblings, I'm not aware of what goes on around me. It couldn't be further from the truth. I consider myself an observer. I sit back, cautiously with my book as my shield, and watch the tomfooleries of my family. Most of the time, I truly am reading, but some of the time, I'm listening to Mom and Dad arguing over dad's lack of support, or mom's perpetual worrying-both of which by the way, I find to be accurate. I hear Sue announcing that she is trying out for another activity that she will no doubt result in a miserable failure. Then I watch Axl's just being Axl.

If I ever had to do character studies of my family, they would be more complex than I believe they themselves even realize. Although I love both of my parents, I find it difficult to relate to my Dad. It's not anything personal….we both just like very different things. As hard as we both try, it seems as though I can never fully emerge myself into his world, as he can't into mine. However, I do feel as though in some ways our personalities are similar. As much as Mom hates it, Dad's somewhat of a social recluse, as am I. He's not one to strike up a conversation at random, unless Mom's forcing him too. He's much more comfortable watching some barbaric sports game alone than joining his friends at a local bar.

Mom of course is loved dearly by me. She seems to understand that my weird quirks are just the way I am. She tries to help me socially, but I think she also recognizes the things that are important to most kids, (ie. Axl and Sue) just aren't to me. The only time she puts any amount of spotlight on the fact that I am socially awkward is when the school calls attention to it, which is normally once every four months or so.

Then there is Sue; the eternal optimist. I admire her tenacity to keep looking at the positive aspects of life, no matter what was thrown at her. We all know she's tried out for more teams then perhaps books I've read. I'd say we are pretty close as far as siblings go. A lot of the times we end up hanging out with each other. Normally it's because she's angry because of something Axl did to her, but she's about the only person I can hang out with on a consistent basis.

Ah, Axl…..Well, what do I say….well first of all, we couldn't be more different. Sometimes I am in shock the stupidity that comes out of his mouth and the insanity of choices he decides to make on a daily basis, but he's my brother. And, he's pretty cool as big brothers go. I mean, sure he picks on my occasionally, but most of that is saved for Sue. I haven't been terribly scarred yet by anything he's done (although that time he ruined the ending to the story might have been close).

People looking at our family from the outside in would probably assume Mom and Axl had a terrible relationship by the amount they argue. However, I don't quite see it like that. From my observations, Mom's just worried about him. Axl's the one out of all of us that receives that most attention from her, even if that attention most of the time is that of the negative variety. Sue of course assumes it's because he's the favorite, but I think it's just because he honestly needs it. I honestly feel, even with my odd social skills, and Sue's identity crisis, we both will eventually be fine, and make it on our own. Sometimes with Axl receiving the amount of attention he does, Sue and I are left to figure out a lot on our own. And even with my tendency to procrastinate, and Sue's lack of talent or self-awareness, we always somehow manage to pull through on our own. Whether it's getting lost in a book, or constantly seeing the sunshine of life, we do pretty well for ourselves. Or at least make it work so that Mom is not chasing after us, having to pick up the pieces of one of our disasters.

Axl on the other hand seems to always be in trouble. He never seems to want to apply himself if it's not something he cares about (sports, girls, guitar, hygiene), but then crumbles under pressure. I'll never forget the week of his PSATS. I thought for sure Axl was going to have a nervous breakdown. Dad and Mom always say that Sue is the sensitive one, but in my eyes, it's Axl. He'll never admit it of course, but I've heard him break down in the bathroom more times than I can count. He thinks running the shower drowns out the noise in there, but it doesn't, and I figure if he needs to cry, let him cry, and if he wants to do it in private, who am I to tell him that I can hear him.

Anyway….you're probably wondering where this is all leading….As I was saying, even though I'm the youngest I have a good idea of what's going on. I knew something was really wrong with Axl weeks before the whole hospital thing happened. He seemed low on energy. After school, where he normally would settle himself in front of the tv with a snack, he would go into our room and fall asleep-with his clothes on, including his shoes. I caught him sound asleep in the bathtub last week. After I woke him up, and he climbed out of the tub and wrapped himself in a towel I saw the bruises. They were up his arms and down his legs. I asked him of course what happened, but he just brushed past me, mumbling something about not knowing. For a second I wondered if he was getting picked on in school, but I knew that wasn't possible. Axl was pretty popular with his good looks and witty sense of humor. Most people liked him and wanted to be around him. Besides, even though he was on the smaller side (I know this because Sue has practically caught up with him in height) all his friends were the huge strong football player types, so if he was having a problem with someone, I'm sure one of them would take care of it.

My next thought was maybe Dad was being too rough with him again. I mean, don't get me wrong, our father isn't abusive or anything like that, but he has a tendency to be a little rough on Axl on occasion if the two of them were playing sports together. He's not really type of dad who believes in just letting any of us win because we are his kids. He's super competitive, and seems to forget his own strength when playing any type of physical game. I mean, he gave Axl a bloody nose years ago once during a basketball game, and has had pinned him to the ground on more than one occasion while they were rough housing. This "brutality" of course sends Mom into one of her 'Axl protective rages', which causes her and Dad to fight, which in turn causes Dad to ignore Axl for a few days. As much as Axl plays it off as "whatever", I know it bothers him.

I'm getting distracted again, so anyway, I knew something was wrong with Axl weeks before he ended up going to the emergency room. I also overheard the conversation between Mom and Sue-who couldn't hear Sue when she gets hysterical. I felt my heart drop into my stomach as soon as I heard the words oncologist. One of the books I recently read had a book where the main character had cancer. He survived, but still, I knew it was serious.

I was lying in bed, thinking about all of this when Axl slipped into our room, practically collapsing on his bed.

"You okay?" I asked, sitting up to face him.

"Yep." Axl replied, kicking off his shoes.

"You know, I've read it's healthy to talk if you—"

"Shut up, Brick." Axl snapped, putting the pillow over his head and turning away from me.

I know I'm not one to read emotions well (that's what everyone says anyway), but I'm thinking he doesn't want to talk right now….


	7. Chapter 7

**Note: I am not a medical doctor so I apologize now if any of the terms or procedures used in this chapter, as well as the following are incorrect. **

* * *

I was somehow able to get an appointment that Tuesday. I don't know if the nurse who scheduled me heard the fear in my voice, or we really were just that lucky. Much to Axl's dismay, we found ourselves sitting in Brian Gavin's waiting room at 8:00 in the morning. The day began with a nurse drawling Axl's blood, then a physical exam by Dr. Garvin, and then a series of in-depth questions.

"I want to do a bone marrow aspiration." Dr. Garvin said after about ten minutes of grilling Axl. He rolled his chair back to his small desk, and looked at me, "I can do it today. I have time in my schedule."

"What exactly is that?" I asked as Axl shifted uncomfortably next to me. For some reason it just sounded uncomfortable.

"I want to take a sample of his bone marrow to see how well it's functioning." Dr. Garvin explained, "We do so by sticking a needle into the back of his pelvic bone and withdrawal fluid. We then look at the fluid under a microscope. It will show us if there are an abnormalities."

"Is that really necessary?" I asked, glancing at Axl who looked like he was about to pass out from the description alone.

"It will help us get a better idea of what we are dealing with, Mrs. Heck." Dr. Garvin answered, "I can go prepare for it now. I'd rather do it sooner rather than later. I need to do this to give you a proper diagnosis." Dr. Garvin said. "I have to go see another patient, but then I'll be to do the procedure. You will have to sign a consent form. And Axl won't be able to drive for a few days."

"Axl's not great with needles." I blurted out.

"We can give him some medicine to relax him." Dr. Garvin said, "Now if you'll excuse me." He exited the room before I could blurt out any other statements or come up with any other questions. I almost followed him into the hallway, but Axl called to me from the exam table.

"Mom…." Axl said, his voice suddenly sounding so small, "I really don't want to do this. Let's just go home." Suddenly I saw my little boy again. The one who needed his mother. The one who clung to me like Velcro.

"We can't honey…." I went over to him, wrapping him in a hug, and surprisingly he let me. "It's going to be okay. You heard Dr. Garvin….he's going to give you medicine to help you relax."

"I hate needles." Axl shuddered, pulling away from me slightly. He looked like he was about to cry.

"I know." I climbed up onto the table, putting my arm around his shoulders, and holding him tightly. "It'll be okay. I'll be right here with you."

* * *

The bone marrow aspiration was hard to watch. I wanted to burst into tears as I watched my oldest son wince as Dr. Garvin inserted the needle into his pelvic bone.

"It'll be okay." I said, stroking his hair as a tear rolled down his cheek. The last time I'd seen Axl cry was when Morgan broke up with him….you know, the first time….and the second and third time…

"Remember, lie still." Dr. Garvin advised. I wanted to ask him how still he'd be lying if someone stuck a needle into his bone, but luckily kept my question to myself. After a few moments, Dr. Garvin announced he was done.

"Kayla will now apply pressure to the area where I inserted the needle." Dr. Garvin said, motioning to his nurse who stepped into place with a white bandage and held it against Axl's back. "We want to make sure the bleeding stops. Then you can go home. I'd take it easy for the rest of the day, but you can resume normal activity by tonight or tomorrow. You'll be sore for a few days, which should be relieved with Ibuprofen. Other than that, just make sure your where we made the incision stays clean. Check for bleeding. If the area swells, call me immediately. Other than that, I'll be calling you with results in a few days."

"That's it!" I exploded, "You mean, we won't know today?"

"We need the lab to look at his results, Mrs. Heck." Dr. Garvin replied, "I promise, I'll call you soon as possible." He gave me a smile, Axl a small wave, then disappeared once again into the hallway.

"Well, that sucked." Axl said, pulling at his hospital gown they'd made him change into before the procedure (which of course he moaned and groaned to me over).

"It didn't look pleasant." I replied, wanting so badly to hug him.

He shuddered slightly, then closed his eyes. I felt so hopeless. I was so afraid of hurting him, so I did the only thing I could think of, which was to get up and gently hold his hand.

* * *

The next few days were one of the longest I've ever known. I was overly anxious, and kept checking to see if my cell phone was working-I was convinced I was going to miss the call from Dr. Garvin. Axl was overly irritable, snapping at everyone, as well as being even more obnoxious with his comment s than usual. Mike (after I filled him in about everything) was overly distant, and seemed to be avoiding all of us, especially Axl at all costs. Sue looked like he was about to cry at any minute, and Brick did what Brick always did which was read.

By the following Monday, I was going crazy. I admittedly started calling Dr. Garvin's office around the third day, asking if Axl's results were in. I had just gotten home and was passing out subs to the kids when my cell phone rang. I think all of us froze.

"Hello!" I yelled into the phone, almost dropping it.

"Mrs. Heck?" A female voice greeted me.

"This is she." I said, glancing at Axl, who was biting his lower lip-a sure sign he was nervous.

"This is Michelle calling from Dr. Garvin's office with results for Axl Heck? Dr. Garvin would like to see you and Axl as soon as possible. Does tomorrow morning around ten work?"

"Umm…sure…" I said, feeling my stomach drop. I was pretty sure they only asked you to come in to the office if it were something serious.

"Excellent." Michelle said, "We'll see you then."

"Can't you tell me anything?" I said, turning away from the kids, "I mean, nothing? It's been seven days."

"Dr. Garvin would rather share the results in person." Michelle said so cheerfully, I wanted to reach into the phone and slap her. "We'll see you at ten."

"Fine." I muttered, tossing my cell phone onto the counter.

"Well?" Axl said, clearing his throat, "What'd they say."

"They want to see us tomorrow." I said, doing my best to sound unconcerned.

"What's that mean?" Sue asked, her eyes beginning to water.

"I don't know." I said honestly. Somehow no one seemed hungry after this news. Axl went off to his bedroom, where he fell asleep less than twenty minutes later (I know, I checked on him), Sue went over to Carly's to more than likely cry, and Brick of course just started a new book. It wasn't until later that night, once I was taking my shower, did I really let myself cry.

* * *

The next day Mike, Axl, and I headed back to the doctors in silence. After signing in, we were escorted back to Dr. Garvin's office, and told that he would be in shortly. I of course was a nervous wreck and had chewed off most of my nails. Mike wasn't helping by sighing every couple seconds, and Axl was surprisingly subdued and quiet. Finally, after what seemed like forever (which actually had only been five minutes) Dr. Garvin came into the office.

"Hello, Axl. Mrs. Heck." Dr. Garvin said, extending his hand to shake ours. I quickly introduced Mike, as Dr. Garvin sank into his chair, and opened up a folder what I assumed held Axl's results.

"Axl has aplastic anemia." Dr. Garvin began almost dryly, "It's not cancer, but it's just as concerning." When he caught a glance at our three equally lost faces he cleared his throat and began explaining, "Basically it's a blood disorder. In our bodies we have three different types of blood, red, white, and platelets. In people who have aplastic anemia, the body does not produce the required amounts of all three to live a normal healthy life. There are different ranges from mild to severe. Axl unfortunately falls into the more severe type. Which means we need to start treatment right away."

"Wait!" I said, waving my hand in front of this so called _doctor._ "Stop, first off, are you sure."

"Yes, Mrs. Heck," Dr. Garvin said, handing me Axl's blood work as though I would suddenly be able to understand the test results, "These number confirm it."

"So how did he get this?" I said, "I mean, we told you he was sick as a kid, but nothing this serious."

"Most times the causes are unknown." Dr. Garvin said shrugging, "Unless there are certain factors, we just don't know."

"So, let me get this straight." I said, standing up, "What your saying is my son is sick, but you have no idea how he got this."

"Frankie…" Mike said, pulling on my sleeve, motioning towards Axl, who was leaning over in his chair, pulling at his shoelaces.

"Okay…okay…." I said, sitting down, "I'm sorry. I just don't see how you don't know how he got this….Is it something we did? That we should have known about."

"Unless if it's genetically passed down-which you would have known about-the cause is normally uknown." Dr. Garvin looked relieved I had sat back down.

"You said something about treatments." I motioned him on, glancing at Axl, who now had started picking at a fray stand in his hoodie. Normally at this point, I'd lean over and smack his hand, telling him if he ruins that hoodie, he'll buy his next one (or something equally lame).

"There are multiple options." Dr. Garvin began, "Luckily, we caught this fairly early. Because aplastic anemia is a blood disorder, blood transfusions are extremely helpful in making the patient feel better. This doesn't fix the problem, but it does buy us more time. The best and most desired outcome is to get a bone marrow transplant donor to try to kick his anemia into remission."

"Remission." I said shortly, "That's a cancer term."

"Actually it just means the disease that the person has is undetected in their body at this time." Dr. Garvin paused for a minute, almost as if he was afraid to continue. "However, there are more and more studies that show that a certain type of chemotherapy works in putting aplastic anemia into remission."

"Chemotherapy?" I asked, suddenly feeling my stomach drop.

"It delays the cells that attack the bone marrow." Dr. Garvin said, "There are some drawbacks, but it's probably the best alternative. After a round or two of chemo, I'd like to give Axl some growth hormones. These help the bone marrow produce more blood cells. We want to hold off on the bone marrow transfusion as long as possible. That would be our last resort. Although I would suggest having your family members get tested to see if they are a match as soon as possible. If not, we'll have to put him on the national registry. You have two other biological children, right?"

I nodded, trying to process everything, and trying my best not to cry. I glanced at Mike, who was sitting stoned faced, and quite clearly refusing to look at me.

"So I hear you're into sports." Dr. Garvin said, turning to Axl, who jumped at the sound of his name.

"Yep." Axl said, clearing his throat, "How soon do you think I'll be able to play again."

"That's the thing…." Dr. Garvin, sighed, glancing at Mike and I briefly, "It's suggested that people with aplastic anemia don't play contact sports…."

"Are you kidding me!" Mike snapped, suddenly coming to life next to me.

"Now you say something!" I couldn't help but snap back. I barely heard Axl ask what that meant.

"Contact sports…." Dr. Garvin said, "Like football."

"You're saying I can't play football anymore?" Axl's voice dropped to a whisper.

"It's just too dangerous for you." Dr. Garvin said, "There is too large a risk of bleeding and injury."

"Even after I'm better…?" Axl's tone turned flat.

"I'm sorry, Axl…" Dr. Garvin looked at me almost helplessly.

"Axl." I said, reaching out and touching his knee, "Let's just get you better first. We'll talk about football later."

"I think we should begin his treatment as soon as possible for the best hopes of recovery." Dr. Garvin continued, "I have an opening the day after tomorrow at 9 am."

"The day after tomorrow?" I asked, at the same time as Axl said, "Ew 9 am?"

"I'll see you then." Dr. Garvin replied firmly, silencing both of us.


	8. Chapter 8

That night I couldn't sleep. After tossing and turning several times, I finally got up and made my way to Axl and Brick's room. Brick was sound asleep, his nightstand light still on, his book lying open next to him. Axl's side was dark and still. Figuring he was asleep too, I snuck into the room to turn off Brick's light.

"Mom…" Axl whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

"Honey, you're still up." I said, going over and sitting down on his bed, turning on his nightstand light, "You should be sleeping."

"I can't sleep." He said, looking away from me, studying the wall above Brick's head.

"Me either." I confessed. We sat in silence for a minute, before I had a great idea, "Hey," I asked, trying to put on what Sue called, my "cheerful voice", "You hungry? I have some frozen pizzas in the freezer."

Axl fell silent. I swear I've never seen this kid contemplate whether he wanted food. Normally he's shoving his brother and sister out of the way to get to the table or the fridge first. "Sounds good." He said finally, beginning to get out of bed.

"Throw this on." I said, grabbing a hoodie of his off of the floor, "The house is drafty at night."

Axl rolled his eyes briefly before pulling it over his head and leading the way into the kitchen.

"Pepperoni or cheese?" I asked, holding up both pizzas, knowing already which one he would choose.

"Duh." Axl said, sliding into his chair at the table, "Pepperoni. God, you know it's my favorite. I don't even know why you get cheese."

"I was just asking." I said, tossing the cheese pizza back into the freezer and turning on the oven, "And cheese is Sue's favorite."

"No wonder." Axl said, stretching his legs out onto another chair (which of course was mine), "It's lame."

Now, normally, I'd walk right over and pull my chair out from under him, but instead I calmly filled the tea pot, put it on the stove and walked over to the table, sitting in Sue's chair.

"So," I said, pushing around a magazine of mine, "I think everything's going to be fine."

"I'm not worried." Axl said, cutting me off.

"You don't need to be." I replied, feeling like I personally was trying to reassure myself.

Truth was of course, I was scared out of my mind. I mean, we've dealt with illnesses before-especially with Axl- or injuries-Sue was the ranking queen for this category-but up until now I realized we've been pretty lucky.

And I mean that. Sure, Mike and I complain our kids are messy, lazy, and annoying, or we rant about our jobs, but up until the last few days nothing earth shattering has really happened to us.

"Great!" Axl voice suddenly broke me out of my thoughts. I jumped up and grabbed a towel when I saw his nose had begun to bleed again.

"Stay still." I ordered as I held the towel to his nose and slightly tilted back his head. I couldn't remember in the exact moment if that was what I was supposed to do if one of my children had a nose bleed, but I felt I had to do something.

Luckily, his nose stopped bleeding pretty quickly.

"How long have you been having bloody noses?" I asked, after tossing the towel in the laundry room.

"A while." Axl shrugged.

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"They were just nose bleeds, Mom." Axl replied, his tone somewhat exasperated. "How was I supposed to know it meant something?"

"Okay," I backed off, sensing he was getting defensive, "Fair enough."

Axl replied by sighing heavily and rubbed his arms like he does when he's nervous Sure enough, a moment or two later he cleared his throat, "So…" He asked, shifting slightly in his seat, "Is umm…is Dad mad I won't be playing football anymore?"

"What?!" I said, trying my best to but on that "cheerful" voice again, "Honey, he doesn't care about that."

"He seemed to at the doctor today." Axl said pointedly, "The only time he said anything at all was when that Doctor person said I wasn't allowed to play anymore."

"Your dad's just not good with stuff like this…" I answered hurriedly, "You know that."

"Yeah," Axl rolled his eyes, "I know."

The buzzer for the pizza went off and I thankfully got up to shove it in the oven, grateful for the few extra moments to collect myself. I was pissed that not only I had noticed that Mike seemed more concerned about football than the actual diagnosis, but that Axl had noticed it as well.

"You're dad just wants you to get better." I said finally, sitting back down.

"Whatever." Axl rolled his eyes and laid his head down on the table.

"We will just have to find something else to do." I said, still cheerfully.

"Like what?" Axl peeked out at me, "I'm not really a school kinda guy. I can't really keep the facts straight. I'm not like Brick."

"You're good at a lot of things." I said, "Besides, I wasn't a fan of you playing football anyway."

"I thought you liked football." Axl said, "You always watch the big games with Dad on TV."

"I like _those_ games." I said, "Those players aren't my son. I can relax and watch it with your Dad and not worry some huge guys going to take down my son."

"I never knew you felt that way." Axl shrugged, "I mean, I knew you weren't thrilled, I played, but you were like…you know there for all my games and stuff."

"Well, of course." I replied. "I'm _your_ Mom."

"I don't think I really liked it." Axl squinted his eyes like he always does when he's thinking, "I mean I was good at it, naturally, but I mean, I didn't get _all_ into it like the other guys did. I mean…..yeah, I don't know."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked, surprised he was confessing this to me.

"I don't know." Axl shrugged, "Like I said, I was good at it. It was something to do. Besides, dad spent more time with me that way."

"Your dad would spend time with you no matter what." I said, trying to sound convincing.

"Yeah, cause he spends so much time with Brick." Axl said, rolling his eyes, "And he dreads anytime he has to spend with Sue. You know he shouldn't complain about her so much. I can, I mean, I'm her big brother-it's kinda like my job-but she isn't that awful. Yeah, she's a dork and all, but like he's her dad. I mean, she's cried about it before. I just told her that dad only chills with me because I do stuff he does."

I was astounded that Axl actually felt this way. It always bothered me how Mike whined about spending time with our daughter, but I was shocked Axl actually saw past himself (that obnoxious, selfish, teenage self) to care about his sister so much.

"Awwww….Axl…" I cooed, leaning over and squeezing his arm, "You do care about Sue."

"Don't get all mushy." Axl said, waving me off. "It's not like I'm going to talk to her in school or anything."

"I wouldn't dream of it." I replied, rolling my eyes at him for a change. We both fell silent for a moment. I was about to ask Axl if he wanted to start a movie (let's face it, there was no way I was going to work or he was going to school tomorrow), but suddenly he sat up with a bolt.

"What am I going to do about Morgan?" Axl said anxiously, "I mean, I like don't want to tell her I'm sick."

"Why?" I asked. I can't reiterate enough how much I don't like the girl, or how much I didn't I want to discuss her at my kitchen table in the middle of the night. "She's your girlfriend. If she loves you, it shouldn't make a difference."

"Because it's lame." Axl replied. He jumped up and began pacing back and forth in front of the sink.

"Axl." I said, going over and grabbing him by the shoulders, "Stop. Calm down."

"She's not going to like this, Mom. She'll break up with me." Axl looked like he was about to hug me, when suddenly he shook his head, "I can't deal with this right now."

"Just come sit and relax." I motioned towards the table, "The pizza should be ready any minute."

"I'm not hungry anymore." Axl replied, his tone changing from panicked to cold.

"Axl." I pleaded, "Please eat. Come on, you love pizza."

"I'm just not hungry." Axl said again. He glanced at me, before heading off slowly to his room.

Suddenly, I wasn't very hungry either. I got up and turned off the oven. Then I turned on the sink and cried my heart out.


	9. Chapter 9

Two Months Later

Brick POV

After Axl got sick, everything changed. It felt to me like an unexpected plot twist in one of my books. Everything about our family was different and we felt like we were living a story we weren't supposed to. All that once seemed important-Mom nagging us about school, or Dad pushing Axl to get a football scholarship-suddenly just wasn't. Mom had talks with Sue and me about keeping up with our schoolwork, but the emphasis wasn't there anymore. I still procrastinated of course, but instead of Mom bailing me out, Sue did. My procrastination was the only thing that seemed normal.

Mom devoted all her time to making Axl well again. If she wasn't dragging him from one doctor's appointment to another (he had chemo, blood work, and checkups weekly) she was researching online if there was a cure for his aplastic anemia. She was even contemplating taking him a chiropractor because she read somewhere that adjusting the spine might produce higher blood cell counts Then there was the week she made him drink warm water with honey because she read somewhere it would boost his immune system. Honestly, I doubted any of this, but I think she was just trying to stay busy because she was so afraid of staying still.

Dad was never home. He spent more and more time at the quarry. When he was home, he was either on the couch drinking a beer watching some type of sports show, or in the garage hammering away at some type of project. On the rare occasions that he was around he spoke to Sue or I, asking us the same line of questions which included no more than how was our day and no less than how we were doing in school. He down right ignored Axl. He and Mom rarely spoke and I could hear their angry whispers through their door at night.

To be honest, I thought Dad was handling the whole Axl situation poorly. Axl tried to still be the son our father once knew, but Dad didn't seem interested. It seemed like the more Axl pushed to still have a relationship with him, the more Dad resisted. It was clear Mom was flying solo on this endeavor to get their eldest son better. Dad never went to any of the many of doctor appointments. He only went to his first chemo session, which afterwards he always found an excuse not to go. Whenever my brother was throwing up all night from the chemo, Dad slept soundly (I'm assuming) while Mom, Sue, and I took turns staying with him.

Sue basically was heartbroken. If she wasn't crying, she was going above and beyond trying to make Axl comfortable. She doted on him every chance she got. She made him more food (which to be honest he didn't eat not only because it was normally over cooked, but because he was having a hard time keeping anything down), and constantly brought home little presents (most of them were made in her art class). Axl seemed to understand that Sue was trying her best, and managed somehow to bite his tongue from the sharp comments I know were bursting to come out. He let her hug him as much as she needed to, with only a few remarks here and there about her being a dork or nerd.

I think one of the worst parts was that my brother no longer looked like my brother anymore. His once thick curly black hair was gone. He and Mom shaved his head about a month into his chemo after he had to gather up his hair on his pillow morning after morning. His crop of hair was replaced by a series of caps and beanies Mom brought home for him one day. He never let anyone but Mom see him without them.

He was also quieter now. I almost missed the witty smart mouth comments that used to frequent our household. I was convinced he alone would make Mom's hair grow gray. He still cracked a few jokes, but they weren't as obnoxious. He was meeker and more withdrawn. In the beginning, Darrin and Sean dropped by for a visit, but after a while it was obvious whatever they had in common with Axl was gone. They no longer could compare stories about whatever "chick" they thought was cute (although, I give Axl credit because he always stayed loyal to Morgan or talk about how "lame" school was, or how they were going to "hand it to" the other football team this week. Half the time, Darrin would just talk incessantly about random stuff and Sean would consistently ask Axl how he was feeling and how everything was going. Axl always gave the same reply, which was a quick, "fine", before falling silent again. After a while, they stopped coming over so often. I guess they just ran out of things to talk about. I don't really think Axl cared too much. The sicker he got from the chemo treatments, the more and more he seemed to want to be alone.

Morgan broke up with him about two weeks into his chemo, with the justification that she "just had to move on". I can't say I was sad or surprised to see her go. I never liked her. She was annoying and overly controlling. Whenever they were together all she ever did was boss Axl around and tell him what to do and what to wear. The one day (before Axl got sick) they were going out and she made him go inside and change his shirt because "she likes him in blue". I never would have imagined that someone would be able to tell Axl what to do (I mean, whenever Mom tries they normally have screaming battles), but it just seemed whenever Morgan snapped her fingers, he submitted. She constantly corrected his vocabulary (which to be honest at times bothers me too), but she did it in such a condescending way, it made me doubt her intentions. If he even so much as tried to express a different opinion than the one she shares, she'd pout, which would cause Axl to cave and agree with her. So...I can't say I was upset to see her go. I just hoped she stayed away for good this time. The last thing Axl needed was the stress of Morgan weighing him down.

Over the last two months, I feel like I've taken over the role as big brother. Sure, Axl wasn't exactly always the most helpful big brother, but he was there when I needed him. He supported me in my weirdness-like the time he came to my play where he high-fived me in the end (in front of everyone), even though I did the opposite what I was supposed to do (it wasn't my fault, I just found the lights way more interesting than the play itself). He offered advice when I needed it, no matter how misguided it was. The few times he had helped me with my school projects (like when he ate my map of Indiana), I could tell his heart was in the right place. But I figured, with him being sick, it was my turn to return the favor. I figured, after observing Axl's emotional retreat into his feelings (more so than normal), the best thing I could do was wait for him to open up to me, but be a silent figure by his side whenever he did open up to talk. Ironically, it ended up happening more than I anticipated. A lot of the time he opened up to me when we were both lying in our beds. I figured it had something to do with the dark and inability to see each other that allowed him to open up about his feelings.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to the sound of Axl getting sick in our bathroom. He'd had chemo earlier that day, and it was hitting him hard.

I sighed, turning on my nightstand light, feeling awful as I heard him get sick once again in our bathroom. I reached out and grabbed a book, trying to look like I was completely preoccupied in my reading, he stumbled out of the bathroom, looking pale, his eyes watering.

"You okay?" I asked him, glancing up from my book, trying not to show the concern on my face.

"I can't keep anything down." Axl mumbled. He climbed back into his bed, and covered himself with his covers.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked, feeling helpless.

"No thanks." Axl said, through chattered teeth, his blue eyes shut tightly.

"Let me know…" I replied awkwardly, returning to my book, but unable to focus on it. I think I read the same page about three times before Axl's groan broke the silence.

"I have to throw up again." He said, almost tripping on his way to the bathroom.

I put my book down and followed him into the bathroom, concerned.

I sat down by him, as he knelt over the toilet and once again was sick. I couldn't help but notice you could see his spine through his tee-shirt.

"This sucks." He said, sitting up and leaning his back against the wall next to the bathtub.

"I know." I said simply, knowing it wasn't enough, but also having nothing else to say to make him feel better.


	10. Chapter 10

Axl POV

All I have to say is chemo sucks. I mean I was told it was going to be rough, but no one really tells you how bad it is.

For one thing, I've never been good with doctors. Actually I hated them. It often took Mom threatening me with bodily harm just to get my sports physical every year. So being around them for what seemed like 24/7 didn't exactly thrill me.

But yeah, chemo sucks. I was sick all the time. On the day I got chemo, and two days later I had a hard time keeping anything down. I was dizzy and nauseated all the time and just when I started to feel like I was getting my strength back, I had to go in the next day for my next chemo treatment. The only good thing was most days Mom didn't make me go to school. I knew I was falling farther and farther behind, but I didn't care. And for the first time in my life, Mom didn't seem to care about school. She almost pretended like it no longer existed. If only I could have gotten her to see how lame it was when I actually had the energy to do stuff.

My hair fell out faster than I thought it would. They told me it was "more than likely" going to happen and it was a "side effect", so I wasn't exactly surprised. I just really didn't think it would happen to _me_. It sucked when I started to find my hair all over my pillow when I woke up every morning. After a few days of denial, I finally confessed to Mom (which, let's face it she's Mom so she more than likely already knew) and we shaved of the rest in my bathroom together. Mom tried to help by buying me these weird shaped hats (she called them beanies) to cover my now very bald head, but they were just a reminder that I was sick. I mean, let's face up until now I was pretty awesome. I was able to pretty much work my way through life with my charms and smiles. I didn't realize how much uncomfortable I was with myself until I didn't have my looks to fall back on.

Morgan broke up with me. She hung in there longer than I thought. At first, she played the role as the sympathetic girlfriend. She cried when I told her I was sick. She visited or called every day but after I started puking all the time, she ended it. I don't blame her. Who wants to date someone who had to go to the hospital once a week and get chemicals pumped into their body. Or sit on their bed while they puked for the fifth time since you came over less than an hour ago.

Mom was doing her best. I think she was trying hard not to nag me or get on my case as much as normal, but Mom's Mom. She prolly asked me how I was feeling or if I needed anything too often, but for the first time in a long time she wasn't driving me up a wall. Besides, her nagging was the only thing that felt normal. She legit made me her fulltime job. She drove me to every appointment and stayed with me through every chemo treatment. She rubbed my back in circles when I threw up all night, even though I knew she herself was exhausted.

Out of everyone, Sue was driving me the craziest. She legit teared up every time she saw me. I was running out of room to put all the things she'd either bought or made for me. She finally stopped making me food because she realized not only did she suck as a cook, but I couldn't keep anything besides toast or Jello down. She hugged me constantly. I admittedly shoved her off of me though once she tried kissing me on my cheek. I knew she needed to hug me, but that was a little too much.

Brick's been chill as hell. Half the time I broke down and talked to him before I passed out each night. He didn't say a lot-He's kind of a quieter dude-but I knew he was listening. Brick always listened. And somehow the small amount of words he did say did make me feel better. He always chose his words carefully. I kinda wished I was more like him. Plus he was way smart. He knew more about my diseases then I did. Half the time whenever I had questions, I'd ask Brick and he'd look up whatever it was. Then, he'd explain it to me. He was always honest and never sugar coated anything, unlike Mom or Sue.

The worst part of being sick was without a doubt disappointing my Dad. He could barely look at me. True, we've never had the best relationship….I always knew deep down the only thing we ever really had in common was sports. He really only spent time with me because he wanted me to be the best I could be at football or basketball or baseball. And luckily for him (and I guess me) I was good. I know he liked bragging to his friends that his son scored the winning touchdown or shot a final basket of the game. And I know he was heavily relying on me getting a sports scholarship to college-he sure in hell told me enough. But, now that I was sick all of those dreams were gone. He knew he'd never again brag about my performance in a game. His friends would never again pat him on the back and tell him I was a chip off the "old block". Pretty much his hopes of me being a college star were dashed the day I was diagnosed.

But yeah, out of everything, Dad bugged me the most. It bugged me enough that after night after night of thinking about it, I brought it up to my brother.

"Brick…." I said, turning to face him, which was prolly ridiculous because we were in the dark, "Do you think Dad's ever going to be proud of me again."

Brick was quiet for so long that I thought maybe he'd fallen asleep. "I don't see why it's so important to you." He said finally, "I don't think he deserves you to care so much."

"What do you mean?" I cleared my throat and tried to sit up a bit. I was still pretty dizzy from yesterday's chemo though, so I laid back down, swallowing the feeling of nausea.

"So here's how I see it…." Brick said slowly, "Dad's selfish. He only cares about what he likes. If you don't share his interest, he doesn't even try to form any type of relationship with you. I mean, look at the two of us. When was the last time you saw Dad ask me about a book I was reading? No, he'll just ask you about how you threw at practice, or whatever it is you sports people talk about. "

"I know…" I said softly, "Trust me, I've gotten that message loud and clear over the last few weeks."

"You're more than what Dad made you out to be, Axl." Brick replied. "I see it. You just have to see it now. You can do more than just throw a prolate spheroid object into a net."

I sighed and rolled back over, covering my head with my blanket. Normally I would have laughed at Brick's lack of sports knowledge. Or at least make fun of him using the words "prolate spheroid" (whatever the hell that was). But, I was beginning to realize making fun of Brick (or even Sue) wasn't going to make me well again. It wasn't going to help Dad want to chill with me. I was about to tell Brick I was sorry for being such an asshole for so long, but I just as I turned back to face him, I was greeted by his light snoring.

I rolled back over, suddenly feeling restless. I kicked off my covers, sighing. I glanced up at shelf at my old trophies that were light up by the streetlight outside. More than anything I just wanted to be normal again.


End file.
